What is Love?

by Andrew

For the purposes of this writing I want to specifically focus on love between two non-family members. I beleive that there's a difference in the type of bonds that are created between a mother and child and say a couple who might get married. I think that would be to much to cover in this short text.

So what is love anyway? It's a complex subject but I think we can break it down in to managable parts. Let's start off with something that isn't too subjective though.

Love as a chemical.

 There are certain chemical changes that happen in your brain when you begin to fall in love with someone. More serotonin and dopamine are released which results in feelings of elations and happiness around that person. These are the same chemicals that opiates such as cocaine and common chemicals like refined sugar try to mimic. So in essence when two people are in love they are addicted to each other. I think this is why falling out of love is so painful. We don't have those rushes of dopamine anymore and basically your body goes through withdrawls as you would coming off a hard drug. Anger, sadness, and depression are all common results of drug withdrawl and I see a lot of similaries between the two from my experiences.

Subjective Love.

 This next part i'd like to talk to about love in a subjective manner. This could also be thought about as attractiveness. I believe in order for two people to fall in love they need to be attracted to each other. I think that much is common sense but there's a lot there we can discuss. Why do we find certain people attractive and other we do not? This comes in two parts. Physical attraction and mental attraction.

Physical Attraction

 I think everyone has their type that they look for. One person's perfect ten might be a total turn off for someone else. I believe this happens pretty much instantanously when two people see each other. There are chemical reactions that happen right away we pick up on within ourseves. I think this mostly comes from instinct and the more animal nature in us. Without being too blunt I think it basically boils down to "Would I mate with this person?" I'm not saying anyone does right away I'm just saying that the thought process happens more or less automatically.

Mental Attraction.

 These are the things we love about a person. Are they generous? kind? loving? empathetic? How do they spend their time? Are they are a hard worker? What kind of a outlook on life do they have? I believe these are the things that are built over time as we get to know a person. The more things we like about them the deeper in love we could fall.
 I think that's why lies are so devestating in a relationship. We like things about a person that end up not being true. It's a betrayal and it emotionally hurts because those emotions that we felt assoicated with those ideas become fake.


Love for the long haul.

 I think for two people to remain in love they have to be willing to grow at a pace in life that is similar. If I may put it in a poetic way.
 There are two plants growing next to each other in the sun side by side. Both feeling the cool breezes and warm rains. One plant grew in soil that was slightly better and grew taller then the other plant. It soaked up more of the sun and out grew the other plant. Soon it's shade kept the other plant from growing and it fell even further behind. The plant saw what it was doing to the other plant while trying to reach for the sun and became sad. So it leaned down a little when the sun was out so the other plant could thrive and when it rained it poured the some extra water on it from it's own leaves so that it could grow as big as itself. Soon both plants were the same size and basking in the sunlight together.